13 May, 2007

my broken record-no worries.

lately i have been going through a season where i am realizing i am no longer as young as i once was. i know this is obvious to many, much sooner( or later) but for me it has happened after graduating from university, getting married, having two kids, and last but not least my high school state record in track was broken this year.

i was hoping to be able to tell my kids, "well i know you think i am just a regular soccer mom, but i still hold the state record for the 4 by 400 meter relay!" ... really though I know better. would i have cared if my parents had a state record in some track meet billions of years ago? would i have listened to them more, thought they were cooler or tried harder in school? nope! that type of thing did not matter to me and it still doesn't. what matters is that which lasts longer and is of more value than something that someone can just erase, break or take.

my parents brought me up to understand that what matters is not the temporary glory we receive from achievements, and the satisfaction of believing we are better then everyone else because of metals earned or honors given...what matters is what will last, or eternal. eternal as our impact on the world is eternal, our impact on our children, our parents, eternal as serving no matter what the cost, eternal is giving when we are not getting...eternal humbles, brings true joy and true admiration. i admire my parents not for any achievement, riches, intellect....but because throughout all my life i have seen them answer the call no matter the cost. i have seen them live day in and out worthy of the calling they received. times where hard, people non-responsive, the going very (very) slow, hardly any signs for all their work and long hard years spent alone, away from family...and they remain steady. i know why my dad's fave chapter in the bible is Hebrews chapter 11 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...", it is because it is the faith chapter and that is how they lived, many days many months and years on faith alone. that is why i admire my parents. they are my heroes or faith and patience, and that impacted me and was a testimony to me and will be forever...that is eternal.

i believe they only doubted the cost of the call when it came to us (my brother and i), feeling that we were somehow missing out on "the American life" of high school sports careers, drama teams, sitcoms, chocolate chip cookies and the steadiness of a life lived in one single town where everyone knows you. don't worry mom and dad...we were called too! and we loved it too! but because we did need and education for the last two years of high school we voyaged off to Canyonville Christan Academy where we learned what it meant to be an American, roast marshmallows, run track, x-country, play soccer,watch basketball...and just be like everyone else. that is where i had the opportunity to run...and run and run. and we won and won. it was a rush...but i am glad it is over, i don't have enough energy for that type of stuff anymore.

even though i do admit i was a bummed when i looked up this years state meet and saw that my relay team no longer held the record- that does not define me, that was temporary. so now when i can no longer run fast (or at all due to broken down joints!!), no longer invincible, no longer have a flat stomach and on the verge of becoming an average American soccer mom...i realize that is fine. i will be obedient to wherever God calls, i will be steadfast wherever he leads me, i will raise my kids up knowing God and the fear of God, i understand that which is eternal means so much more and will impact those around me in a way that will last.

here's to you mom and dad, to track, to running, to perseverance, to Hebrews 11, to becky for "encouraging" me to write more and to my sons always knowing the cost of true obedience.

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